To Pee Or Not To Pee

I have a job. I work, they pay me. 

I pay my taxes & the government  distributes my taxes as it sees fit. 

In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test
(with which I have no problem). 

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.    

  

So, here is my question:  Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check
because I have to pass one to earn it for them? 

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.

I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT doing drugs ...while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each province or state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program... "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"! 

She's My Wife

A few months ago my wife (Brenda) and I went to Mexico for the first time.  She wasn't overly excited about going, especially with all the stories we'd heard.

We flew out of Calgary.  Got through security without incident, except, I got beeped going through the security scanner.  Had to remove my belt… my pants fell down over my knees, but other than that, everything was good… just kidding!

Brenda got a little emotional as we boarded the plane.  She said to me, “Don’t you dare leave my side… if I had handcuffs I’d handcuff you to me.”  

Upon entering the Plane the flight attendant said to me, “You’re in the next seat to the lady.  And I said, “Yeah, and she said only seconds ago, that if we had handcuffs, she’d handcuff me to her!” 

One of the the flight attendants said, somewhat surprised, “Really?” 

While the other said, somewhat concerned, “Is that a good thing?”  

“Oh yeah, it’s all good!” I said. “She’s my wife.”

Click  Here  to see a few pics of our trip.

Watch It

I try to read something everyday.  While browsing through some material recently, I came across the following, and thought it was worth posting here.  Think about this...

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I Hate Cards

I had a Father's Day Card from my son today who lives out of province.  He knows the kind of cards I like and dislike. So he sent me one that he knew would make me laugh, and it did.

Here's what it said...

Dad, growing up, 

we were sometimes a little difficult, 

a little stubborn

and acted like we knew it all... 

but there was a good reason for that. 

"HEREDITY." 

 Happy Father's Day!

That's my son.

Quotes For Today

As most of you know I love great quotes... here's a few more.

* Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.

* If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do, is Wake Up!

* The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

* In 20 years you will be more disappointed in what you didn't do, than by what you did do.

Have a Great Day!

Sunday Morning

                                                              
                                                                    One Sunday morning

a pastor decided to do something a little different. He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind -- the pastor shouted out 'CROSS.'  Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS..' He then hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.' The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.' The Pastor said 'SEX' The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'MEMORIES.'

Retarded Grandparents

This was actually reported by a teacher...

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.

One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.

They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore!

They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. 

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.  At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!  Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.  And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.  The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.  Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

I'm Retired

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a  rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me!

  

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and  is fat

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 8 months. 

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. 

I'm retired. Go around me.

Gonna Be A Bear

My sister-in-law sent me this little story a couple of days ago.  I couldn't resist...

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd Like to come back as a bear.

When your a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, your suppose to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When your a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while your sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definatley deal with that.

If your a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. you swat away anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

YUP, GONNA BE A BEAR

The Sun

The sun benefits us in a number of ways. 

The sun delivers heat, raising core body temperature. Higher core body temperatures facilitate increased cell function and higher energy. This increases our detoxification and purification systems. 

Sun also regulates our natural biorhythm cycles. Boosted core temperatures increase cortisol levels during the day, ushering more relaxation and deeper sleep during the night.

So last night, I stayed up all night to see where the sun actually went. Than it dawned on me.