Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Bruce Sm’allmighty

Bruce is a man of many talents.  For over fifteen years now, I’ve been cutting his hair.

Retired from the Forest Industry for more than twenty years,  he has many stories to tell.
The one I’ll share here happened in the 1980’s.
Bruce and a couple of his colleagues were sent to Newfoundland by his company, to negotiate a deal for the purchase of the Bowater’s Pulp and Paper mill in Corner Brook.
It was January.  And he arrived in the city in one of the worst blizzards of that winter. 
While driving to the hotel, where he was to meet with his associates, he said the snow was up over the tops of most of the road signs. And when you could see them, the lettering was so small, you could barely read them.  That made navigation around the city, somewhat challenging for a newcomer.
His first statement that morning in the boardroom was, “How come your road signs are so small around here?”  “I almost didn’t make it to the hotel.”
He knew he’d better shut up and pay attention when one of the Newfoundland Reps quickly spoke up and said, “Around des parts, we knows where we’re goin’ my son.”
Bruce and his company lost their bid, but only by fifteen million dollars!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Newfie Police Understanding


For everyone who knows who Mavis is, will admit, she is a beautiful lady, who would go out of her way to avoid confrontation.
A policeman stops Mavis just outside her home in St. John's Newfoundland, and asks to see her driving licence.   He says rather assertively 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.'
Mavis promptly answers sweetly, 'Well, I have contacts.'
The policeman replies gruffly, 'I don't care who you knows, my dear. You're still gettin' a ticket.'