For part of his earlier years, Phil was a veterinarian. While cutting his hair a couple of weeks ago he was telling me about an incident that happened to him during that time.
It was during calving season and he had a call from a farmer who was having a problem with one of his cows giving birth.
After he arrived and had assessed the situation, he knew what he had to do. He pulled out a pair of clippers from his case and trimmed around the back end of the cow. But before he had finished prepping, the clipper had quit working. He shook them a little, wiggled the cord, but still nothing. He discarded them on the ground and noticed that there was bare wire exposed half way down the cord. It must have shorted out, he thought.
Giving his full attention now to the poor mother trying to give birth, he shoved his right arm up inside the cow, and pulled the calf out. It wasn't breathing. He cleared the throat and mouth as best he could. He tried helping it stand. But it appeared the little guy wasn't going to make it. It fell over and hit the ground. But as it did, it landed on the exposed wire of Phil's clipper, which was still plugged into the power outlet. Instantly the calf was shocked back to life. It was exactly what it needed and in exactly the right time. It was running around within seconds.
A little unconventional maybe... but accidents do and can sometimes happen, for good reason.
The following compilation are Personal STORIES as well as STORIES, JOKES and QUOTES that I've heard over the years, by my clients, since I've been barbering. Some will make you laugh, some (but not many) will make you cry, while others will make you wonder why this guy doesn’t… ‘get a life.’
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Did You Know?
It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years .
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end .
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450 F.
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
The University of Alaska spans four time zones.
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.
Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy.
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years .
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end .
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450 F.
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
The University of Alaska spans four time zones.
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.
Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy.
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
BS UnCut... the books
First of all I want to thank all my readers from all over the world, who actually come here and read my blog. For you, I have but one question... Why? But thank you so much. I really do appreciate it.
Today is a special day for me. It's the unofficial launch of my new website,
BS Uncut... the books
BS UnCut Volume I, published in 2012.
BS Uncut Volume II, published in 2013. (Available in about two weeks)
Feel free to pop over and take a look. Especially take a peek at the 'Shop Pics' page.
Yes I've been busy, outside the day job. But it's all good.
Have a great day.
I'll be back!
Today is a special day for me. It's the unofficial launch of my new website,
BS Uncut... the books
BS UnCut Volume I, published in 2012.
BS Uncut Volume II, published in 2013. (Available in about two weeks)
Feel free to pop over and take a look. Especially take a peek at the 'Shop Pics' page.
Yes I've been busy, outside the day job. But it's all good.
Have a great day.
I'll be back!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
The Great American Novel
by Larry Norman
I was born and raised an orphan in a land that once was free
In a land that poured its love out on the moon;
and I grew up in the shadows of your silos filled with grain,
but you never helped to fill my empty spoon.
And when I was ten you murdered law with courtroom politics,
And you learned to make a lie sound just like truth;
But I know you better now and I don't fall for all your tricks,
And you've lost the one advantage of my youth.
You kill a black man at midnight just for talking to your daughter,
Then you make his wife your mistress and you leave her without water;
And the sheet you wear upon your face is the sheet your children sleep on,
At every meal you say a prayer; you don't believe but still you keep on.
And your money says in God we trust,
But it's against the law to pray in school;
You say we beat the Russians to the moon,
And I say you starved your children to do it.
You are far across the ocean but the war is not your own,
And while you're winning theirs, you're gonna lose the one at home;
Do you really think the only way to bring about the peace
Is to sacrifice your children and kill all your enemies?
The politicians all make speeches while the news men all take note,
And they exaggerate the issues as they shove them down our throats;
Is it really up to them whether this country sinks or floats?
Well I wonder who would lead us if none of us would vote.
Well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped from whispering through the fence,
You know every move I make, or is that just coincidence?
Well you try to make my way of life a little less like jail,
If I promise to make tapes and slides and send them through the mail
Then you make his wife your mistress and you leave her without water;
And the sheet you wear upon your face is the sheet your children sleep on,
At every meal you say a prayer; you don't believe but still you keep on.
And your money says in God we trust,
But it's against the law to pray in school;
You say we beat the Russians to the moon,
And I say you starved your children to do it.
You are far across the ocean but the war is not your own,
And while you're winning theirs, you're gonna lose the one at home;
Do you really think the only way to bring about the peace
Is to sacrifice your children and kill all your enemies?
The politicians all make speeches while the news men all take note,
And they exaggerate the issues as they shove them down our throats;
Is it really up to them whether this country sinks or floats?
Well I wonder who would lead us if none of us would vote.
Well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped from whispering through the fence,
You know every move I make, or is that just coincidence?
Well you try to make my way of life a little less like jail,
If I promise to make tapes and slides and send them through the mail
And your money says in God we trust,
But it's against the law to pray in school;
You say we beat the Russians to the moon,
And I say you starved your children to do it.
You say all men are equal, all men are brothers,
Then why are the rich more equal than others?
Don't ask me for the answer, I've only got one:
That a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son.
But it's against the law to pray in school;
You say we beat the Russians to the moon,
And I say you starved your children to do it.
You say all men are equal, all men are brothers,
Then why are the rich more equal than others?
Don't ask me for the answer, I've only got one:
That a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This song was written nearly forty years ago. I was listening to it in the 70's and thought even then it was very relevant for the day. This past weekend I heard it again (for the first time). And I thought "Wow, forty years later, and some of those lyrics can still hit us right here at home."
Larry Norman was very controversial in his day, but the lyrics to most of his songs hit the nail right on the head. This was just one of them.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
A Farm Kid Joins the Marines
Some jokes hit me hard. This one had me in tears... laughing that is. Be sure to read it through first, before reading the last line...
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late.. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. The don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get on to this setup and come stampeding in...
Your loving daughter,
Alice
Alice
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Trick Riding Miracle
Yesterday I visited my sister and brother-in-law Arch, for the afternoon. He told me he had two new horses. So I had to go and have a look.
I'm not a horse person. But I have to admit his horses do look nice. Especially in pictures. Just kidding.
Yesterday I was reminded of a few years ago, when I did have my first ride on a horse. One that I won't soon forget I might add.
It was a beautiful summer day in July. We were invited out to friends of my sister and Arch's. They were already there when we arrived. Rodger's place was about a forty acre countryside spread, just outside the city of Edmonton.
After visiting for a while, they decided, the 'guys' should go for a horseback ride. Three of the horses were immediately saddled up. And we were ready to go.
Unbeknown to Rodger or Arch, (who by the way were experienced horsemen...they both grew up around horses and had been riding for years) this was my first time I'd ever sat in a saddle. But I figured, 'Hey, if they can do it, I can do it.' Ooohh, was I wrong.
It started off fine. We were gingerly trotting down a back country dirt road, just checking out the scenery, as I thought to myself... 'This is easy enough.' Rodger and Arch were in the lead, side by side, chatting back and forth to each other. And me, I was right behind them.
Then it happened! I saw Arch give Rodger the 'nod.' And the three horses took off as if we'd been shot out of a cannon. Instantly my foot came out of the left stirrup and I found myself hanging upside down with my right foot still in the right stirrup, looking up at the belly of my horse. And luckily I still had the reins in my hands. With my head only inches away from the ground and the horses hooves, I knew I had to hang on, somehow. And by some miracle, I did.
The next thing I knew, I was somewhat upright again, but totally out of control of the horse, who was still keeping up with the other two in spite of our dilemma.
Nobody told me, you had to kinda stand in the stirrups when your horse went into a gallop. At this time my biggest concern was just getting back in the saddle, where I thought it would be a lot safer. But as soon as I did manage to upright myself enough to finally find the saddle, my rear end only touched that thing for about a half a second, and I went flying again!
This time it was out over the front of the horse! I held part of the reins in my left hand and with my right hand I grabbed the mane of the horse, as I flew through the air. And we were still moving at what appeared to me, about 120 mph down that gravel road.
I do believe in prayer and I prayed more in that short time, than I probably have in all my prayer time since. And I did survive that horrible ordeal that day. It must have been my guardian angel that lifted me back in that saddle. Because the next thing I remember, the horses had all come to a stop and I was back in the saddle where I should have been in the first place. A little disheveled, yes, but no broken limbs, bruises or even a scratch.
The other two riders never knew what had happened behind them that afternoon. But for me that ride will be forever itched in my memory.. It was my first and last horseback ride. I have never gotten back in a saddle again.
I'm not a horse person. But I have to admit his horses do look nice. Especially in pictures. Just kidding.
Yesterday I was reminded of a few years ago, when I did have my first ride on a horse. One that I won't soon forget I might add.
It was a beautiful summer day in July. We were invited out to friends of my sister and Arch's. They were already there when we arrived. Rodger's place was about a forty acre countryside spread, just outside the city of Edmonton.
After visiting for a while, they decided, the 'guys' should go for a horseback ride. Three of the horses were immediately saddled up. And we were ready to go.
Unbeknown to Rodger or Arch, (who by the way were experienced horsemen...they both grew up around horses and had been riding for years) this was my first time I'd ever sat in a saddle. But I figured, 'Hey, if they can do it, I can do it.' Ooohh, was I wrong.
It started off fine. We were gingerly trotting down a back country dirt road, just checking out the scenery, as I thought to myself... 'This is easy enough.' Rodger and Arch were in the lead, side by side, chatting back and forth to each other. And me, I was right behind them.
Then it happened! I saw Arch give Rodger the 'nod.' And the three horses took off as if we'd been shot out of a cannon. Instantly my foot came out of the left stirrup and I found myself hanging upside down with my right foot still in the right stirrup, looking up at the belly of my horse. And luckily I still had the reins in my hands. With my head only inches away from the ground and the horses hooves, I knew I had to hang on, somehow. And by some miracle, I did.
The next thing I knew, I was somewhat upright again, but totally out of control of the horse, who was still keeping up with the other two in spite of our dilemma.
Nobody told me, you had to kinda stand in the stirrups when your horse went into a gallop. At this time my biggest concern was just getting back in the saddle, where I thought it would be a lot safer. But as soon as I did manage to upright myself enough to finally find the saddle, my rear end only touched that thing for about a half a second, and I went flying again!
This time it was out over the front of the horse! I held part of the reins in my left hand and with my right hand I grabbed the mane of the horse, as I flew through the air. And we were still moving at what appeared to me, about 120 mph down that gravel road.
I do believe in prayer and I prayed more in that short time, than I probably have in all my prayer time since. And I did survive that horrible ordeal that day. It must have been my guardian angel that lifted me back in that saddle. Because the next thing I remember, the horses had all come to a stop and I was back in the saddle where I should have been in the first place. A little disheveled, yes, but no broken limbs, bruises or even a scratch.
The other two riders never knew what had happened behind them that afternoon. But for me that ride will be forever itched in my memory.. It was my first and last horseback ride. I have never gotten back in a saddle again.
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