Long Shot

So far it's been an unusual summer around here.  Extreme temperatures, high winds, to much rain and way to many mosquitoes!

But there's another thing that has caused havoc around our place this summer.  Hornets!  Now hornets won't burn your house down, or kill you, but it could happen.  And it almost did for me, about a week ago, in both cases.

I was mowing the lawn, and must have disturbed a nest of them in the ground, when all of a sudden I was being attacked by a swarm, ready to devour me.  I instantly let the lawnmower go, as my hands went flailing above my head, trying desperately to ward of my attackers, running for my life at the same time.  This all happened in less than two seconds.  But in that short time frame, I had been stung five times.  Three hits on my left wrist, one on the tip of a finger and one on the top of my nose.  (And for anyone who 'nose' me, you'd have to agree, any bigger would not be a pretty site.) 

The following day, after nursing my wounds, my wife discovered a hornets nest under a bench in front of  the picture window on our deck.  She thought lighting a votive candle,  and placing it under the bench near the nest might drive them away.  It didn't work.  Actually I think they kinda liked the soothing smell. 

That same evening I decided to run in town and pick up a can of wasp spray, that a friend suggested.  It was called "Long Shot."  Guaranteed to get rid of our pest problem, he said.

I waited 'till about 10pm before carrying out my execution.  I stood back about six feet, bent down, took careful aim and pulled the trigger.  In all my excitement to rid those nasty critters for good, I had neglected to blow out the candle first.  Instantly, I was holding a six foot flame thrower.  The nest caught fire, the deck caught fire, flames were shooting up the side of our ceder home.  I threw my 'torch', ran inside to the kitchen, grabbed the fire extinguisher from underneath the sink, pulled the pin as I ran back to the deck, kicked the bench over (in my bare feet) putting a one inch gash in my right foot, at the same time dousing the fire with the chemicals. 

That whole scene was played out in about ten to fifteen seconds.  It's amazing the adrenaline rush we get when we are faced with such a panic situation.

No damage was done to the deck or the ceder siding.  Only the fumes ignited and was put out before the wood had a chance to actually catch on fire.  

All the hornets died!