The Perfect Job

Here's a type of resume/career direction you may want to
avoid...

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I
got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just
couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited
for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too
exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little
spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I
wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have
any patience.

Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't
fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I
couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance
company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I
wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally
got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no
future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit
because it was always the same old grind.

So, I retired and I found I am perfect for the job!